How to ask for more money with confidence

Even when we feel we deserve a promotion, a pay rise, or a better starting package, not everyone finds it easy to ask, and this can be especially true of women. Here are some ideas and inspiration to help boost your assertiveness in conversations about money…

According to research, women continue to be less confident about asking for a pay rise than men – half as much, in fact, with 42 per cent of men saying they feel confident about asking for a rise, compared with just 22 per cent of women.
Lack of confidence at work and around asking for a pay rise is common. We never seem to believe we’re good enough. This is especially true of women, who traditionally have not been good at asking for more money.
So what can you do to increase your confidence in asking for and talking about money? And what steps can you take to improve your chances of a positive outcome?

Ask yourself: “What’s the worst that can happen?”

Nervousness about talking money can have many causes – a lack of self-esteem, reluctance to break cultural norms, fear of being seen as mercenary or fear of rejection. But it’s worth remembering that making sure you’re paid fairly is a basic right, and it makes good business sense too. Done right, demonstrating your negotiation skills will show commercial savvy that will impress your boss.
A good employer shouldn’t think less of you for asking. They should respect your ambition and confidence.
The worst that can happen is that your employer says no. But you should consider if you want to be someone who tried, or someone who didn’t dare ask.

Prepare, prepare, prepare…

Enter the meeting with as much preparation as possible. Review your achievements from the past year and highlight any outstanding accomplishments. What successful projects have you been involved in? What impact has your work had on your team, the business, or the bottom line?
This exercise is a good way of reminding yourself why you are worth a rise, but it has other benefits too. Your manager may not recall or be aware of all your accomplishments. Use appraisal feedback, co-worker testimonials, and positive comments from clients and other colleagues as support.

Pick your battles

You need to go to the meeting with a good idea of what you’re worth – and a good awareness of what you potentially deserve and are currently missing out on. Assess the opportunity and benchmark against your peers.
Robert Walters’ own Salary Survey can be very useful here. In addition, most industries are supported by publications and bodies which provide regular salary reports. Another way to benchmark your pay is to look at comparable job ads on recruiter sites. Websites like Glassdoor and LinkedIn also provide salary information which can help you get a clear indication of the range for your role and level of experience.
It’s a good idea to speak to a recruiter you trust too. Recruiters deal with salary negotiations on a day-to-day basis and can give you guidance on what to ask for.
While it’s important to benchmark your pay accurately, you should avoid targeting a specific co-worker’s pay. The issue is already implicit in the conversation, so bringing up a colleague’s specific salary can put off an employer. You may not know the whole context, either.

Practise with someone you trust

Women especially need to use confident and direct language in negotiations. It’s important to be more assertive in a polite, balanced way, and not apologetic for, or excessively grateful for, receiving something which is effectively your right anyway. The best way to ensure this during negotiations is by practising.
Work with a partner or friend you trust to decide what you’ll say. Practise being non-confrontational, but confident. Avoid phrases such as “I’m sorry” and “I’m so grateful.”
Finding someone you trust that you can discuss your concerns and fears with can also be helpful. A mentor or someone who has experienced a similar situation may have helpful insights.

Don’t make it personal

Another way to take the heat out of the conversation is to imagine you’re acting on behalf of a third party. Avoid making it personal. Consider how much someone should be paid in that role, with consideration for the budget.

Time it right

Timing is vital when it comes to broaching the subject of salary. Call the meeting ahead of annual pay reviews, to avoid missing your opportunity.

Keep it focused

Similarly, don’t try to combine your pay issue with another discussion. Don’t add the topic of pay to another meeting. It’s vital to stay on topic during the meeting and avoid digression.

Learn the dance of negotiation

You don’t have to be a master negotiator to close the deal, but knowing the basics can help you a great deal:

• Listen hard: Active listening shows respect and builds trust. Repeat back key points your manager makes: mirroring shows that you appreciate their perspective and take them seriously.
• Acknowledge objections: An objection such as “we just don’t have the budget” is often used as a way to try and bring the negotiation to an end. But you can keep the conversation going by acknowledging the objection, repeating it back to your manager, and asking additional questions until a compromise or an alternative solution might emerge. These additional questions might include: “Do you know when the budget might be made available for this?” or “What are your plans for growing and developing the team?”
• Pace yourself: Don’t feel pressured to jump at the first figure that’s put in front of you. Your manager probably has a final figure in mind, and – like yours – it’s unlikely to be the first thing that’s offered.
• Own the silence: It’s tempting to fill silence with chatter or white noise. However, letting the silence fill the room is a classic and powerful sales technique.
• Expand the pie: A negotiation isn’t about bulldozing a perceived opponent into giving you everything you want. It’s about giving to get – bargaining for what you both want. So if the final figure on the table isn’t quite aligned with what you had in mind, you may be able to negotiate something else that works for you. Some examples include extra annual leave, study days, training courses, flexible hours, or mentoring.
• Think it over: Even if you’re happy with the proposal, always give yourself a night’s sleep to think things over. It’s important not to let the emotion of the moment sway you; it’s always wise to reflect on the offer and ideally discuss it with someone you trust.

Consider your options

If you don’t get exactly what you want from the conversation, stay calm and give yourself time to decide on your response.
Don’t use ultimatums if the offer isn’t what you expected. Let your employer know you need time to consider the offer. Stay calm and professional and avoid getting emotional.
In some cases, if you don’t get what you want it may be that the manager simply doesn’t have it in their power to do anything at the current time. In that situation, you can ask for a review at a later date. Note the date and follow up.
Always end positively. Regardless of the outcome, make sure you finish the meeting on a constructive note and show your appreciation for the time you’ve been given.
And if on reflection you’re still not happy with the outcome of your negotiation, of course, it may be time to think about looking for another job where you feel the pay is closer to what you deserve.